Tuesday 19 November 2013

Next date confirmed

Well December 10th will be the all day session.  I am feeling quite anxious and at the same time curious to get this information rolling around in my head. I think I need to understand the next section so I can prepare mentally for it.  Somedays I feel like I can tackle anything......other days I don't.  Although this in general is life I feel this impending surgery has added some stress to my day to day because its always in the back of my head.  I want to loose the weight! That is my mantra for the next bit!   ....I want to loose weight......I want to loose weight.....no strings attached......I want to loose weight.....


Monday 2 September 2013

Commit or NOT to commit

It's really very simple.  I need to make changes.  Changes are easy to come up with in ones life; however, the commitment seems to be lost in translation with me.  I can commit with the thought but the follow-through is difficult.  Its always been like that as long as I can remember ....which lately isn't really saying much, some days I can't remember what I ate yesterday let alone this morning....

So the commitment I really want to stick to and plan to blog the next however many days it takes - so really I could be blogging about this issue for many, many months to come....geez what else is there to do with oneself?  IS...drumroll please......I WANT TO STOP EATING AT NIGHT.  For me this means after 8;30 to 9;00.  I love to eat one of my biggest meals after 9 pm.  Let's face it a nice full tummy sends a person (namely me) to bed feeling all warm and cozy even before I get there.  I find that it also releases any stressors from the day.  So...not so sure how to approach said commitment other than one night at a time.  I would ideally love to have this habit changed by the first of October....it takes 21 days after all.  I just hope it's not like smoking, it takes something like 9 attempts to really kick the habit...here's to a night of commitments with some warmed up karate moves to kick come fat ass all over the commitment issue...see talk big for the first .....and keep that attitude forever more (NOT)...

to anyone who is in the same boat, what's your commitment issue? 
have a happy night snacking without me.
cheers
tarah

Wednesday 28 August 2013

Gimme,gimme,gimme

Oh my word!  I just ate a billion calories!  I just HAD to have a sub, chocolate and chips!  I know it makes me fat, I know I won't feel good after, and yet, I continue to do it!  Anyone out there got a solution?  Better yet, what about doing something else instead of eating junk?  Broccoli is better for ya but lets friggin face it, some days it just tastes like grass!

We are having serious money issues and I have been choosing to eat fattening food rather than try to figure out another way to make money.  It's not like being a giggly girl on the street corner will render much profit!  I am a certified teacher who at best is an educated bum at this point in my life!  How did life turn so quickly from working mom to stay at home.....ugggghhhhhhh

Alas I continue to complain.  I would like to say daily issues don't effect how you respond to food BUT it sure does!  Stress = bad food choices (at least for me).
Well here's to better choices tomorrow
Cheers
T

Monday 26 August 2013

1st Appointment OVER

The first appointment is completed!  Even after we got to Moncton 1 hour early, we ended up being late because of the circles we drove around.  I was completely panicked because WHO wants to start the meet and greet off in that way??  Really?

The nurse was an absolute sweetie!  She of course had to weigh me, now really I was thinking (Tarah, please don't break the scales).  Woooaaa Hessie, don't think your getting out of this for under 400- but even though I did NOT break the scales and I was NOT over the 400 lbs (barely mind you)....oh yeah and did I tell you I seen a friend from home too.  Carol Demmings was a sight for sore eyes (beautiful as always)!  Alas, as usual I am skirting around the truth 357 lbs of lovin and fat!

Dr. Beausoeil said I would require 2 surgeries, the first is a surgery where your stomach is removed all but a bit and the second is the bypass.  I feel this is a good move because if the first works out and I plateau, only then might I need the second one, being the bypass.  The first also helps with low blood sugars in the sense that I would not have dumping when or if I required sugar for lows.  Amazing, I feel ready and truly pumped about the issue; but we hall see when we are closer to the surgery- apprehension (aka: panic 8) and determination 10 at least for today:)

I found this quote on the Artists in Blogland:

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

I found it very fitting under the circumstances:)
Cheers to y'all
T

The post of a million posts

I am not sure where it began or if it stops but I have come to the rounded weight of close to 400 lbs.
Today I begin the journey of a thousand miles- WHAT? You ask?  We are presently on our way to see DR. Beausoleil in Moncton.  He is a gastroenterologist who will, if all the stars align, will do a gastric bypass on moi.  This feels like a difficult decision however, it is a positive one.  I have mixed feelings- anxiety of course, pleasure at the thought of getting a new outlook on life and being able to hug my 4 year old with nothing between our love!

So in another few hours I will have a better understanding of this process:).
Much love to you and to those that are overweight
T